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4.5
I Don't Want to Kill You is the final book in Dan Wells' John Cleaver trilogy, and he really steps it up a notch. Other authors might have fumbled here, but not Wells, and he delivers an almost perfect book.First of all, this book builds itself up. The pressure grows and grows, I grew more and more tense as the story went on, before it blossomed into full-fledged horror. Things happen and you don't want them to, they make you terrified, and then more things happen, twists and turns, and they're even worse than before, sending you head-long into the climax. The final few chapters had me physically tense, twist after twist after twist, and the final twist struck me to my core.This is one of those books where you cry when you read it, then again when you've finished, and then you pick it up again just to read those final few chapters, maybe hoping something will change, maybe hoping more pages have magically appeared, but most likely because it hit you so hard you have to read it again; then you cry again, much harder than before, and you know this is one of those books you'll always keep a copy of.The plot is magnificent, very tightly told, and unforgettable. The twists are here, more than in the previous two books, and unlike the previous two books I didn't see most of them coming until they hit. Whilst this is an amalgamation of supernatural, horror and serial killer/thriller, I felt that the horror element was much stronger here than in the previous two books - and that's not a bad thing. You don't want certain things to happen, desperately, but you're powerless to stop them; just a helpless by-stander, and that hurts, it makes you scared, it makes you sad; it evokes emotions.Characters... I think they're the strongest in this book. The build-up of the previous two books, whilst having having character development and strengths in their own rights, result in a massive pay-off here. I loved the characters, I hoped for them, I feared for them, I felt angry, sad, happy, I wanted everything to turn out alright for them... this is what brilliantly crafted characters do. They exist on the page, but they live in your heart.As I mentioned at the start though, this is almost perfect... I still have issues with the dialogue and believability. It's alot better in this volume, but alot of it felt like stuff teenagers wouldn't say, and some of the characters actions were a little too convenient for the plot. That being said, though, during large chunks of this book - primarily in the latter half - this disappears entirely.There's a gun with a silencer used in this book. Dan gets his facts wrong here - contrary to popular belief, a gun with a silencer doesn't make no noise, or a *ptew* sound. They only reduce the sound of the gunshot by about 20 decibels. For a standard handgun this would make it about 120-130 decibels, or about as loud as a jackhammer. Something to note.The other issue I had, and this is a big one, is the ending. There's a chapter at the end of the book, about 6 pages long, occuring after the plot has wrapped up, which feels like it could have used alot more work. It contains three brief scenes, and the only one I thought had been given the proper attention was the very last one, which really is the saving grace; that last scene is done with a sensitivity and a poise that breaks my heart. The other two... well, they deserved more attention; they feel rushed, trying to cram in as much concluding into as small a space as possible, and as such they feel wooden and, ultimately, not all that conclusive.I think that they, at the very least, should have been developed much more, maybe each of the three scenes into a new chapter. As it is it rushes through too fast, it feels cheesy and unnatural. This is the longest book in the series, and what I think happened is that the scenes were cut down to this length for editorial/publishing reasons. I checked Dan's website and he says it's the last book in the series, and although he also says he's not ruling out coming back and writing more with the same characters, he also says that this ending is meant to be conclusive. The ending doesn't feel conclusive to me, and I think with that extra bit of effort on what is the final chapter it would've, as well as creating a truly resonant end.Still, though, this is a wonderful book, and i'll be recommending the series to everyone I can. It's one of those books that engages you on an emotional level, and then leaves you with a feeling that the way you look at the world has changed, if only incrementally. But that ending... there are too many loose-ends there to the character arcs, and the character arcs that are addressed are done in such a rushed, sloppy way that it leaves them only partially concluded; we end knowing almost nothing about the relationships of the characters given screen time, we know nothing about everyone else, nor anything about the depth of characters emotions towards one another. They deserved better, and it detracts slightly from what is an otherwise brilliant book. Though, as mentioned, the last scene really saves the two poor ones before it; on first reading, and then re-reading, I thought the stuff in the penultimate chapters were the saddest, then reading those final 20 pages again the last scene hit me hardest of all. Love truly is a wonderful, yet tragic, thing.5/5
